


Syringa

by maddy_does (favefangirl)



Series: Camelove 2021 [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, It's canon so, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Canon, Sort Of, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does
Summary: Gwen is the brightest thing Morgana has ever seen.
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)
Series: Camelove 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151495
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: Camelove 2021





	Syringa

**Author's Note:**

> [@Camelove2021](https://camelove2021.tumblr.com/) Day 1 - Ladies First

A warm breeze floats through the air and brushes Gwen’s hair against her face as they walk through the city. Morgana can’t help but smile as Gwen twitches and violently bats it away. She allows herself a small, private chuckle with her face to the ground, before composing herself. She nods and smiles politely at the people as she passes, marking faces both familiar and new as she goes. They all curtsey to her, slightly stilted, and often with a hint of terror in their eyes as they see the king’s ward passing. The reverence can often be grating, but Morgana tries not to let it get to her. 

They reach the flower stall and Morgana deigns to give the old lady running it her hand. She’s known this woman almost her whole life, the story of her own is printed into the lines on her face. The smile Morgana shows her is one of few which are sincere. 

They make an order for flowers to be delivered to the castle as per Uther’s instruction. He’s never pleased that Morgana takes it upon herself to complete the task, reminding her that there are servants for these kinds of menial jobs, but she likes to walk in the city. It may smell rancid most days, and can often get too hot and crowded in the summer, but she enjoys it nonetheless. She likes to be amongst the people, however stifling their affections may sometimes be. She likes to see the children, see their innocence and wonderment at all the world is and can be.

Gwen purchases a bouquet of her own for her house, explaining that her father likes to see the colour. They pay the stall owner and begin walking back to the castle. “How is your father?” Morgana enquires.

“He’s well,” Gwen replies with a smile. “Missing Elyan.”

Morgana rolls her eyes affectionately. “Is your father missing him, or are you?” Gwen pulls a face, affronted, and Morgana shakes her head with a slight laugh. She knows Gwen better than Gwen even knows herself, sometimes. “I’m glad he’s better.”

“Yes, Gaius is quite the magician,” Gwen says, gently stroking one of the flowers from her bouquet, and quite without realising the gravity of her words.

Morgana doesn’t correct her. Gwen is merely paying a friend a compliment, and Morgana has never been as resolute as Uther and Arthur in her hatred of those with magic. She has often been curious about it, about all that power and how it might be used for good. Sometimes she dreams of it, but she would never tell anyone - not even Gwen.

Gwen is her closest confidante in all else, however. She may serve Morgana, but Morgana has never seen her as anything but a friend. She cares for her. She- Well, she doesn’t know who or where she’d be without her. It’s always a comfort to have Gwen’s goodness around, her light air and her kindness. She is also the best person Morgana knows when it comes to advice. She doesn’t know why she doesn’t, or can’t, tell her about the dreams as she knows deep down that Gwen would never judge. It’s just that she often feels like there might be more to it, and doesn’t know how to articulate that to Gwen.

They reach the castle walls, and the guards stationed at the gate both incline their heads to Morgana. She smiles back at them, and out of the corner of her eye she sees Gwen tense. In all the years Gwen has served Morgana, she is still uncomfortable about being in the orbit of this kind of deference. Morgana supposes it is quite difficult to get used to.

“I’m to dine with Uther,” Morgana tells Gwen as they pass through the courtyard. “But thank you for walking with me.”

Gwen smiles - beams, brighter than the sun - at her. They reach the corridor inside the castle where Morgana must turn left to the throne room and Gwen right to the kitchens. Morgana, gives Gwen a smile and inclines her head, and Gwen curtseys even though Morgana has insisted many a time that the formality is entirely unnecessary. She often wonders if Gwen also considers them friends, or not.

“Here,” Gwen says, taking a pretty, dainty lilac flower from inside the bouquet. Gingerly, she places it behind Morgana’s ear. She smiles, and her cheeks blush a light red that Morgana finds utterly enticing and ridiculously adorable. “To match your dress.”

“You’re too kind,” Morgana insists, touching at her ear, fearing her own cheeks may be flaming.

Gwen just looks away, still smiling, always smiling, and turns towards the kitchens. Morgana has to take a deep breath, hand still hovering by her ear. She needs a moment, the air knocked mostly from her lungs with the force of feeling. Yes, she cares for Gwen a great deal. And yet she knows that nothing could ever come of this. Gwen is but a servant, and a woman. Uther would never allow it in his lifetime, and Arthur is unlikely to be any more inclined. Besides, Morgana sees the way many of the servants look at Gwen, in much the same way she does, and knows how much more appropriate a coupling that would make. 

She takes another moment more before turning to walk to the throne room, perhaps trying too hard to keep her pace normal and her heart beat equally so. Nonetheless, she keeps the flower pressed between the pages of her favourite book long after it has died, and the strange dreams start to make way for ones of a life which is entirely beautiful. 

Many years later, when Morgana’s soul is all but corrupted, and any light or hope or goodness in her heart is replaced with steel and ice, she takes Gwen into her custody. She plans to exploit her, to break her heart by killing Arthur, and by destroying her friends. Still, there’s some last shred of decency deep within her chest which means she brings her flowers - lavender, dainty as Morgana once was - and wonders if in the time beyond Uther _and_ Arthur, she might have what a naive young woman once wanted, propriety be damned as her soul.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written Merlin fanfiction in sooooo long, so i can only apologise for the quality, lol.
> 
> anyway, if you wanna leave a comment or a kudos they're much appreciated! especially let me know if there's something you think i forgot to tag! 
> 
> i'm taking prompts! if you're interested please drop the prompt in the comments below. if you do send a prompt be prepared for me to take fifty years to fill it because uni is so hard, but i promise i'll try! come say hi on tumblr: [@maddy-does](https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading, have a wonderful existence.


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